All right, let's step back to 199X for a minute here, eh? So you buy the latest issue of EGM or whatever, in order to get your fill of the latest game screenshots interspersed with horrible writing and thousands and thousands of exclamation marks. However, when you're flipping your way to the tips and cheats section, imagine - if you will - accidentally stopping for an instant on a page containing the image you see above. Now let me ask you: would seeing Tony's terrified, ecstatic face here make you want to run out and buy a Turbo Duo, or would it make you want to renounce video gaming and run away from home to join the gay rodeo? I, for one, blame all the bad choices I made in my life entirely on this one page.
Look past Tony's gaping maw, though, and you'll see that there's even more horribleness afoot. Johnny becomes a lot more affectionate on this page, referring to Tony as "boy," and - no, you're not misreading - "my chosen one." Oh...my...god!!! for reals. I mean, enough already! So you guys are gay! We get it! Jesus Christ.
You might need a few seconds to clean yourself up after taking a look at those amazingly dark and blurry shots from Lords of Thunder, by the way. That's some hot shit right there.
The last panel on this page is the real kicker. Note the ashamed, violated expression on that fish's face as he bears witness to what's going through Tony's mind at this point. Everything - everything - in this panel can be perceived as a euphemism for a sex act or sexual organ. No shit. Think about it. Objects we see here include a tongue, a peeled banana, a wide-open mouth, a screw, and - I swear to shit I am not making this up - a key being thrust into a lock, which has the word "SUGAR" printed on it. You may accuse me of viewing this entire comic with a perverse mind, but how the fuck else are you supposed to look at this scene? Really, now. If you can offer any other explanation for that lock and key thing - one that doesn't involve the implication that Johnny and Tony are gettin' fruity in the booty - I'd certainly like to hear it.
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