Panel 1 - John continues his sudden and unprovoked assault by ZARK!ing an unseen Feka goon (ACK!!).  Though his point has already been made (or rather, the motive behind his inexplicable show of violence has become apparent), Johnny continues to ramble on about the TurboDuo being the first CD system, and the games being more intense, and what have you.  Now, I don't know where this pseudo-comic takes place, but I honestly can't think of a single state, province, or militia compound where murder is justified as long as you're shouting obscure and useless video game factoids while you're in the process of ending a person's life.  God, I wish that was how it really worked.  "The NES used a 6502 CPU!  ADMIT IT!  *blam*"

I like how Johnny doesn't give the off-panel Feka goon a chance to answer his accusations, too.  "Hey, Feka guy! *ZARK* There, that's what you get for producing a piece of video game hardware that's somewhat similar to the TurboDuo.  Oh, and your games suck, and were less intense, and whatever...I need a burger."

Panel 2 - Here we see a Feka goon, thrown forward by the force of several ZARK blasts, making the threat that Johnny will have to pay for the many FekaCD systems that were destroyed during his rampage.  Makes sense to me.  As for Johnny...

Panel 3 - ...he responds to these litigious threats by exposing the poor, legal-minded Feka goon to a massive dose of armpit stench.  Which is, admit it, pretty damned impressive.  You'd have to neglect your personal hygiene for *years* in order to get that kind of BAM!! effect.  Way to go, Johnny.

Panel 4 - And here, we have what's merely the best panel of the comic, and of the series, for that matter.  It may even be the best thing that TTI ever had a hand in, as far as I'm concerned.  Even years after this comic was first published, this panel still has the same comedic impact that it first possessed.  Because, as you see, it's personal now.  The Feka goons aren't just toothy blues brothers fanatics who want to sell a video game system.  They go way beyond merely wanting to produce video games and make a profit.  No, no.  It's much more than that.  They're not even human.  Please take a moment and let that sink in.  They're not even human.  Just think about it - the weight behind this statement.  In a last ditch effort to discredit Sega, the advertisers behind this atrocity decided that the best way to strike back at their biggest competitor was to make the argument that the people who made the SegaCD are evil, soulless, redeyed, communist robots who want to steal your money and eat your children.  Oh my God indeed.  Oh. My. God.

There's really nothing more I can add to this, except to say that adding "Oh my God!" to the interjection made it all the more substantial.  Even now, I can only shake my head and wonder what kind of person would dare think that it would be at all kosher to run an ad campaign that revolves around the idea that people should buy your product only because your competitor's company is staffed by non-humans.  It's all just very, very wrong, and it hurts my heart to know that such a campaign actually came into existence at one point in the earth's history.  Let us weep, and pray, for all our souls.

Last panel - Sadly, the crowd of people depicted here are ignorant of the misguided propaganda and the general insanity of what they have just witnessed.  Somehow, Johnny has convinced them that he has saved the day! and that he is worthy of a round of RAH!s as he engulfs his audience with a cloud of underarm perfume.  Though it's kind of hard to tell if the silhouetted masses are rallying behind Johnny, or if they're running away from him.  No matter, the town has been saved from Sega's army of devil-worshipping cyborg employees, and Johnny is a hero.  In his own twisted mind, perhaps.

->On to Issue #2
<-Back to Main