What I find strikes me with almost as much terror as my first visit to goatse.cx did.  Almost.
 

My beautiful, foreign bride.  Frozen in the cruel clutches of a drunken and abusive Father Time.  Though I was reluctant to do so, as I was fearful of the consequences, my common sense finally gave way and...I attempted to speak to her.

Dear...God!  What has happened to this crazy world?!  Doesn't anyone have any kind of respect for the natural flow of time?

It was right then, and right there in front of my ghostly bride, that I lost it.  I knew that I didn't want to live in this world any longer.  So I decided to do what no other sane man would do.  I was going to go back to that accursed dungeon and attempt to advance the plot, no matter what negative repercussions might have occurred.

You're crazy! the guards said.  No mere player character can talk a game into un-bugging itself!  But I must at least try, I said.  If I don't do something, we'll all be damned to an eternity of video game glitchiness.

Despite all my attempts at persuasion, or perhaps because they were glued to the floor, the guards still wouldn't let me pass.  So I was forced to find another way in.

Once in the dungeon, I found my cell.  I knew what I had to do.  The game wanted me to open those treasure chests in order to advance to the next plot point.  And that's just what I did.  Hopefully, the game, and my life, would then return to normal.

And then I turned around.

To this day, I remain in my cell.  Imprisoned forever by one who would have freed me if I hadn't tried to escape.

Submitted for your approval, one Rhys Fancypants.  Spoiled prince.  Activist for, and participant in, public nudity.  Never one to obey or follow.  His arrogance led him into a parallel universe where Bizarro logic ruled and nothing was as it seemed.  And ultimately, his eternal imprisonment in this world came as a result of his impatient desire to escape from it.  Truly, he has entered...

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