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And so...yeah, the castle. Where's that soon-to-be wife of mine?
The guards seem shaken at my nakedness (the guard on the right screenshot
won't even look directly at me), but they still manage to give some unhelpful
advice. Guess I'll have to find this chick on my own.
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And of course, I get lost. In my own castle. I bet those
guards are laughing their asses off at me. Actually, they were probably
terrified. "Hey, the prince is looking naked and bewildered...why
don't you go help him?" "Why don't YOU go help him? I'm not going
near the crazy bastard. I'm staying right here and I'm going to do
what the king told me to do - to stand here and get in the way of anyone
trying to enter this hall." "Right-o."
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Finally, I find her. My bride-to-be. The castle's rooflessness
allows for the sunlight to shine upon her beautiful faceless sprite.
Some jarring music starts playing, and she speaks...
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This is probably my favorite part of the game. Check out how the princess here uses thinly-veiled sarcasm to protest the wedding. "So we're getting married? Huh. Well, maybe one day I'll regain my memory...and maybe one day you'll stop taking advantage of vulnerable amnesiacs. Asshole."
All the condescending attitude in the world isn't going to stop ol'
Rhys, though. You go, boyee.
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When suddenly!
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Go on, Rhys. Swear your vengeance and all that. I won't
interrupt you.
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Rhys is a funny name. How do you pronounce it? "Riss" just sounds stupid. And "Rice" could make a guy the butt of countless stupid jokes. Maybe it's "Rh-ease," yunno, like "Y's," the action/RPG series that I've somehow managed to avoid all my life. I dunno. Look, these things bother me, okay?
Anyway. Speak, Kingey, Speak:
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Let me get this straight. My bride gets kidnapped...so you throw
me in jail? All right then. Oh, and King Jerkass, that WAS
a Layan. We just saw one. The 1,000 year streak has ended.
Jeez. Guess the king's just really out of it today.
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And thus ends the game's prologue. Princess gets kidnapped, prince
swears vengeance, prince gets thrown into a perilous situation, princess
dies in a tragic blimp accident, etc. Maybe now I'll see some action.
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...or maybe I'll just get thrown into the dungeon. Whatever.
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Well, okay then. I kind of expected some kind of last minute change of heart in the prince's captors. And I was kind of hoping that the prince would suddenly become unglued and start killing everything in sight. But no. Like a good little prince, he goes off to the dungeon, just like daddy said to do. "Now if you be a good little boy and stay in time-out for awhile, we'll find you another amnesiac and you'll marry her tomorrow." "But I don't wanna nudder princess! I want Mai, or whatever her name was! Waaaah!"
Well, it looks like I'm going to be here for awhile. I'd open those treasure chests which are there for some bizarre reason, but that's just what they'd want me to do! Maybe I can bust out of here somehow...
Maybe that thingy I traded my clothes for will do something.
You'd think that the guards would've confiscated that thing from him or something. Being completely naked, it's not like he could've hidden it anywhere. Unless...oh god.
Um...Rhys! Get that stick outta yer ass and blow in it! (I apologize for this statement and whatever tragedies it may cause)
Well, that was unpleasant. But hey, it worked! I'm out! Looks like all that experience with jail and rods in my ass actually came in handy. Now, to see the king. And to beat him to death.