So now we see the angle that the people behind this travesty are getting at. The Sega CD costs $300, the same as a TurboDuo. BUT! The Sega CD must be attached to a Sega Genesis in order to work - it cannot function on its own. While this may seem like a good argument in the TurboDuo's favor at first, you should bear in mind that the "2 systems in 1!" wonderfulness of the TurboDuo was not always the case. Before the TurboDuo came the Turbo-Grafx 16, which was the same system as the TurboDuo, only without the CD-ROM drive. That CD-ROM debuted later, for $500. And, surprise! It didn't work unless it was attached to a Turbo-Grafx 16. So no, Turbo dudes, you probably shouldn't proclaim that your new system is anything more than it is - a last-ditch attempt to save your underpowered and undersupported 8-bit hardware. Before you came up with the brilliant idea to merge your card system and its CD-ROM drive, they were sold separately, just like Sega's doing now. Except, see, people actually bought the Sega Genesis, so it was pretty much a given that anyone who wanted the Sega CD would already own a Genesis. The only reason why TTI made the great, all-in-one, semisexual experience that is the TurboDuo is because no one owned a Turbo-Grafx 16, much less the CD attachment. The TurboDuo was an eventuality that was borne of failure, not a "complete CD game system" that always existed for the benefit of game-kind.
Wait, where was I going with this? Oh, right, Johnny Turbo.
Panel 2: Back in the apartment of our not-so-ambiguously gay duo, Jonathan Brandstetter (good to see that he's still computer experting) is, once again, extolling the virtues of some TurboDuo-related thing, while half-heartedly bashing a similar Sega product. Nothing new here. The SegaCD game that he's referring to, by the way, is Sol-Feace, a fairly good Wolfteam shooter that was packed in with the original model of the SegaCD (and was originally a Genesis game titled, for whatever reason, Sol-Deace). While I've never played Gate of Thunder, I can assume that, if it's anything like its sequel Lords of Thunder, then yes, Sol-Feace doesn't even compare!! to it. Which is not to say that Sol-Feace is bad, it just, well, doesn't even compare!!, and stuff. Sorry, Sol-Feace. You heard the fat bearded man.
It's odd that Johnny even has one of those reviled FekaCD games in his possession, though. Even more odd is how he's comparing the games' quality by using only their physical discs as examples. "LOOK, Tony! This game - see, this one I'm holding in my left hand - just doesn't even compare!! to this one, in my right hand! Can't you see it, man?! Can't you?! Just look at that fucking thing, with its stupid SegaCD logo on it and shit. 'Welcome to the next level' my ass. And then there's THIS one, which has a TurboDuo logo on it! Doesn't even compare!!, I fucking swear."
(You'll be glad to know that "Doesn't even compare!!" has become a constant part of the vernacular that my brother and I share - whenever we're discussing how much a game sucks, that phrase comes up quite often, along with the Tommy Tallarico-isms "Super Nintendo graphics!" and "Tedious, this game is tedious!" Now, the Johnny Turbo references I can stand, but just thinking about how Tommy Tallarico's bullshit reviews on that TV show of his have wormed their way into my subconscious...well, that just pisses me off. Screw you, Tommy Tallarico.)
Panel 3: There's our Tony, still high off that morning's killing spree apparently, judging by the bloodthirsty grin that remains on his face. And once again, he revels in other peoples' misfortune, with his announcement that Feka is in big trouble. Look, Tony, failure in Japan doesn't mean anything. Just ask Microsoft.
And, hey, Tony. Feka's not the only one who's going to be in big trouble. While I'm sure Johnny appreciates how you're once again fully-dressed in your own home, bow-tie and all, I'm sure he won't be able to overlook the fact that you're not wearing your nice dress shoes, which he spent good money on, and which he's told you over and over and over again to wear at all times, with no exceptions. That's going to earn you a dozen lashes from the cat-o'-nine-tails, for sure.
On second thought, you probably took your shoes off on purpose. You perverse little fuck.
Panel 4: Looking all in the world like a couple of child molesters, the evil Feka goons once again try to corrupt our nation's youth with their bizarre sales tactics. Is there anyone who can save the day?!
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