Dating Tips by Johnny Turbo

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1: Chubby is sexy. Gain a few pounds before asking that special someone out.
Grow a beard and mustache too, for the extra effect.

2: Ask her out to dinner and a movie.
Point at your plate, and yell "OH MY GOD, IT'S NOT EVEN HUMAN!" 
If she either laughs (to you, not at you) or gasps, you got a winner on your hands.

3: Just remember, any other girl "Doesn't even compare" to her! Be sure to let her know several times.

4: Compliment her on having "that Arcade Feel".

5: Silently titter now and then.

6: Arrange for some goons to attack during your date, then fight them off with your best uppercuts, head-clonkings, and raygun-fire.
She'll positively swoon at your manliness.

7: Whisper sweet console specs in her ear.

8: When you eventually get your freak on, refer to her naughty bits as her "sugarlock".

9: At the climax, scream "B-O-M-B-E-R-M-A-N!!!"
It will increase the pleasure tenfold, trust me.

10: The morning after, play a game of "Lords of Thunder" to wake up and get you both in the morning spirit again.

These are GUARANTEED to land you with a sure babe!
At the very least, you'll get a blonde boy-toy named Tony.