Part 2: The Beginning of the End

Thursday, August 8, 2002. ~11:00 AM

Mmm.  I couldn't sleep a wink.  No matter, though.  Time to shower.  Maybe Spinner will wake up by the time I'm done.

...okay, maybe he'll be up after I eat some waffles.

...man, is he EVER going to wake up?  Drakee, let's waste some time.  And film.

Ghosts just love the little guy!

And so do strange spectral beams of light, apparently.

Yes, here's Drakee in all his glory.  Cute little bastard, ain't he?  Shame about all the evil ghostly apparitions that find him so attractive.  I mean, look at that stuff - what is it?  Such anomalies were not present on ANY other pictures that I took, on any of the cameras I used.  And note the first picture in particular, with the cloudy spirit wrapped around his arm.  Weird stuff.

What, you want to take a picture of me?  Well...all right.  Just don't make me look ugly or anything.

Yeah, horrible. I know. That's my ugly face. My handsome face never makes an appearance in this series, unfortunately.

Eugh.  Yep, that's ugly.  Avert your eyes from my hideous face and body and check out my legs, though.  Those are DDR legs.  Sexxxy.

(A side note: cameras seem to have a knack for making me look 75% uglier than I actually am.  No, really.  You'll be seeing a lot of my trollish self over these next several pages, but just be aware: I'm not really that ugly.  Like, check it:

All of these chicks are married. Seriously. That's community college for you. Also, that one dude in the middle is a big-time Sega freak, doncha know.

Far right, back row.  Yeah, see?  Not ugly there.  I look downright handsome, actually.  Tall, too.  The Jeff Beck t-shirt helps things a lot.  That was taken just a little more than a year ago, by the way.  And it's kind of sad to realize that I'll probably never look that good ever again.  Anyway, back to our story.)

Jeez, Spinner STILL hasn't woken up yet.

What?  You want to take a picture of him while he's asleep?  Ha.  Go for it, dude.

(Image deleted)

Ahahaha.  Good one, Drakee.  The unedited image will make for good blackmail.

<Spinner_8> Take that damned picture of me off your page :P
<Sardius> But...
<Spinner_8> OUT OUT OUT
<Spinner_8> NOW

A few minutes later, Spinner wakes up.  About damn time.  He showers, and we depart at noon.  Bye, Drakee.  Don't touch my stuff while I'm gone.

<Spinner_8> Put on some good driving music.
<Sardius> Okay...this is Jeff Beck's Who Else.
<Spinner_8> Jeff Beck? Eehhh...
<Sardius> What the fuck do you mean, "eehhh?" Jeff Beck rules! Have you ever heard him before?
<Spinner_8> Well, not really, but...eehhh.

Ah, so this is a good start.  Not two minutes on the road, and Spinner is backhandedly dissing one of the greatest guitarists who ever lived.  What a fuck.  Oh well, maybe I can tolerate him for the next...24 and a half hours?!  Oh God no!  Surely that map's estimated driving time can't be right...

<Spinner_8> Okay, here are the rules for Spinner 8's car.
<Spinner_8> One, don't mess with the window. It rolls down, but it does not roll up.
<Spinner_8> Two...um, that's it.
<Sardius> Okay, fine. Just keep the A/C on, and you won't have to worry about a thing.

So we take the same trip we did yesterday.  Around the neighborhood, on the highway...

<Spinner_8> FUCK.
<Spinner_8> I missed the turn.

Again, this is such a good start we've got going here.  Luckily, for him, Spinner soon atones for his previous unwarranted dissings and regains a little bit of my respect.

<Spinner_8> Yeah, this is good driving music.
<Spinner_8> ...this isn't the Beck that I was thinking of, is it?
<Sardius> Oh, no.
<Sardius> Nononono.
<Sardius> This is Beck, comma, Jeff.
<Sardius> Very important distinction, there.

While I kind of take offense at the fact that Spinner briefly thought that I was a fan of that idiot Beck, this is much better than thinking that he didn't like the real, original, talented Beck.  This is good.

<Spinner_8> Go on and look through my CD collection if you want.
<Spinner_8> Like I said, I don't like many bands, but the ones I do like, I buy all of their CDs.
<Sardius> Hmm...let's see here.
<Sardius> The Beatles...cool...They Might Be Giants...okay...Nanase Aikawa...mmhmm...THE MONKEES?
<Sardius> Seriously, The Monkees?
<Spinner_8> Hey, The Monkees are cool!

Arr.  Just drive.

And we do.

We drive and drive.

For a few hours.

...

Yep.

Now, while just driving for hours may not seem so exciting in print, the actual experience was a lot more exhilarating.  Mainly because Spinner drove for the entire trip - to Las Vegas and back - at speeds in excess of 100 miles per hour.  Really.  He tried to go over 105 a few times, but when he did, his car would make this weird grumbling noise and would slow itself down, as if it were saying, "No, you do not need to go this fast."  But still, 100 is fine with me.  Good thing I'm not easily scared or have much respect for my own life or anything, or we'd have a problem.

So there we are, flying through Texas at law-breaking speeds, weaving in and out of traffic while shooting the shit with each other and listening to cool music.

<Spinner_8> You know, Cream rules.
<Sardius> Yes. Yes indeed.

It is good.

After a few hours, Spinner gets hungry.  See, he didn't eat breakfast.  His extended sleep period wouldn't allow time for it.  So we stop in some small Texas town whose name I can't remember, for food and gas.  In that order.  We look around for a place to eat.

<Sardius> Heey, McDonald's!
<Sardius> Eh? Eh?
<Sardius> Eh.
<Spinner_8> Well, we could go by and try out a McHotdog, I guess.
<Sardius> Oh yeah...I've been wanting to see how bad those things are.
<Spinner_8> It was a McHotdog, right? I think someone mentioned it on your board.
<Sardius> Yeah, that was...adaml, I think.
<Sardius> I wish I could've tried one of those old McPizzas he talked about, though.
<Sardius> Paper covered in tomato sauce. Mm-mmm.

Eventually, though, we decided that we wanted something that wouldn't potentially destroy our stomach linings, so we put off our quest for the McHotdog for the moment.  We vowed to search for it again before our journey was over, though.

So we stop at a Dairy Queen.  They have a Golden Axe 2 machine there.  I have a steak finger basket, because that's my thing.  I never eat anything else at Dairy Queen.  Their country baskets are simply the best things that they serve.  Spinner has a burger or something.  Anyway, we eat.

A few minutes after we get our food, the place starts to fill up.  Which is insane, because it's around three or four in the afternoon, and we are in an incredibly small town.  Spinner and I marvel at the fact that we are apparently seeing the town's entire population congregate for a late lunch at this Dairy Queen.  We are unbelievably amused.

<Spinner_8> I think I want a Blizzard.
<Sardius> So get one.
<Spinner_8> I dunno, though.
<Sardius> Come on, just get it.
<Spinner_8> I'm thinking...
<Spinner_8> Hmm...
<Spinner_8> Mmmm...
<Spinner_8> Yes, I will get a Blizzard.

O-kay.  So, we're off, again.

<Spinner_8> I guess I didn't think this through.
<Spinner_8> There's no way I'm going to be able to eat this while I'm driving.

So we pull over to a gas station, both to fill up the tank, and so Spinner can gulp down his Blizzard.

<Spinner_8> Okay, pay up.

Right.  Gas money.  Here.  I'll just wait in the car and waste a picture.

Spinner's car interior is cool, by the way. Shame that my leg room was limited because of all my bootleg CDs on the floorboard.

Yep.  That's a wasted picture, all right.

Mmhmm.

...

This is more fun than it sounds folks, trust me.  Stuff that transfers better to print is coming soon, really.

So, Spinner pumps the gas, then he pulls over to the side of the station and gulps down the entire, large-sized Blizzard in under a minute.  I am VERY impressed by this, and Spinner somehow continues to drive without much queasiness at all.  He's quite a guy, this Spinner is.

Back on the road.

300 miles to El Paso, the town closest to the western Texas border.

200 miles.

100 miles.

Jesus, we are fucking teleporting through Texas and shit.

<Sardius> You're a real speed demon, you are.
<Spinner_8> Thanks.

Talk like Yoda, I do.  Often very.

Oh, I forgot to mention all of the beautiful scenery we saw!  Yes, it was beautiful.  All these great rock formations that often bordered the road on both sides...yeah.  Very nice.  I didn't take any pictures, though, because I'm stupid.

However, I did take a few pictures of what turned out to be a very boring-looking landscape when we pulled over to some gas station in the middle of nowhere somewhere in west Texas.  Yo:

A wide, vast expanse of...asphalt.

Sure there's mountains or hills or whatever in the background, but just look at that majestic asphalt!

Trees. Trailer. ASPHALT.

The gas station itself was more interesting, actually.  It was kind of half gas station, half country store, though.  And the old guy behind the counter wouldn't let us use the bathroom until we bought something.  So Spinner picked up a tin of lemon drop Altoids (which, despite any advertised claims, were certainly NOT curiously strong), and I get a pack of Dentyne Ice.

The old guy seriously creeped out Spinner for whatever reason.  I didn't really think anything of him, but even if he was creepy, I mean, come on, give him a break.  He's solely manning a bizarre gas station about 50 miles from anything that resembles normal civilization.  Cut the man a little slack - I'd certainly feel that I'd have the right to be creepy if I were in his shoes.  And God willing, one day, I will.

Anyway, after a surprisingly short amount of time, we get to El Paso.

<Sardius> Ahaha, look at that sign.
<Spinner_8> "NAKED HAREM"
<Spinner_8> Wow.
<Spinner_8> Just two words, but that's just all you need to know, right there.
<Sardius> Hell, they could've shortened it down to just one of those words, and the point still would be made.
<Spinner_8> We should go. What's the address?

Hey, hey!  Don't get distracted here.  Just enjoy the scenery.  Man, this is one nice-looking town.

It looked a lot better in real life. A blurry picture taken from a speeding car doesn't really do El Paso justice.

<Spinner_8> El Paso is, like, the coolest town ever.

Sure looks like it.  A closer inspection on our way back through town will reveal otherwise, though.  That comes much later, though.

Random picture time.

You know, I forgot to mention the storms we went through in the story. We drove through like three heavy rain storms, which all dissipated after like thirty seconds. It was weird.

<Sardius> "Now entering New Mexico"
<Spinner_8> Wooo-hooo!
<Sardius> I've now been outside of Texas.
<Sardius> Wow.
<Sardius> I'm broadening my horizons by the second, here.

So.  New Mexico.  Immediately after we cross the state border, the scenery changes drastically.  The soothing multicolored Texas backdrop immediately morphs into a landscape of dust and rocks.  Bland-looking rocks, at that.  Still, it's pretty neat to see, just as a change and stuff.

We pull over to a visitor's center.

I thought I was being SO clever by framing it like that.

Yeah, welcome.  Just don't get killed by snakes.

We pick up a state map.  FOR FREE.  Unlike a Texas map that Spinner bought earlier for five freaking dollars.  Jeez.

Anyway, I decide to take a few pictures of the stark New Mexico landscape, before it gets too dark to do so.

Sure there's weirdo plants and all, but where's the asphalt?!

Again, the lack of asphalt really kills this picture. It had such good potential, too.

AAAAAASSSSSSSSPHAAAAAAAAAALT

<Sardius> Come on, let me get you in one of these.
<Spinner_8> NO
<Sardius> Why not?  Just let me take one of you.
<Spinner_8> NO WAY
<Sardius> Please?
<Spinner_8> I SAID NO

See, Spinner has this thing about taking pictures of him.  To be specific, he won't allow it, at all.  He says he's afraid of internet stalkers finding out what he looks like.

<Spinner_8> I mean, there's no telling what Holo would do with a picture of me.
<Sardius> I shudder to think.

Okay, I can see that, sort of.  But what if...

<Spinner_8> NO

Okay!  Jesus!  Let's go.

So, back on the road.  We listen to more music.

<Sardius> This is the Soukaigi OST.
<Sardius> Best game soundtrack ever.
* Track 3 is played
<Spinner_8> Holy shit, you're right.
<Spinner_8> Just that one song is the best piece of music that's ever been in a video game.
<Spinner_8> And this is the original soundtrack?
<Sardius> Yep. Straight from the game.
<Spinner_8> Man.
<Sardius> And that one track you just heard plays in the first level.
<Sardius> So you just start playing the game and bam, you're hit with this awesome song.
<Spinner_8> ...I need that game.
<Sardius> Get it. Hell, I bought it just because I liked the soundtrack so much.

Seriously, the Soukaigi soundtrack rules.  You should really listen to it.

<Sardius> Okay, what should we listen to next?
<Spinner_8> Hell, man, just let Soukaigi play again.

So, we drive at breakneck speeds down the darkening New Mexico landscape, accompanied by an awesome soundtrack.  Life is good.

Then, everything gets all fucked up.

->On to Part 3
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