It was weird waking up like this.

Waking up to a semi-normal reality, in other words.

I mean, here I am in my bed.  My old, familiar bed.  Not a car.  Not a seedy motel.  Not propped up in a chair, covered in vomit.  But in my bed, in my house.  Like normal.  It felt like I was waking up from an extended, involved dream.  Comforting, yet somewhat depressing in a way.

I knew that the end was drawing near.

...

Might as well make the most of it.

<Spinner_8> Okay, there's still one thing that we have to do.
<Spinner_8> Get ready, we're going to get us some McHotdogs.
<Drakee> Ooh! Can I come too? Please!
<Spinner_8> ...yeah, sure, what the hell.

So it was.  A few quick showers later, Spinner, Drakee, and I piled into Spinner's car and raced down to the local McDonald's.  The signs promised "100% BEEF," a claim that I was just a little suspicious about, to say the least.  We three approached the counter and placed our order, and moments later, we received our meat-based products, wrapped in shiny foil.  So we found a booth, sat down, and proceeded to absorb the prized foodstuffs that we had sought for so long.

...

Surprisingly, they weren't bad.  I had low expectations - because like, it's McDonald's - but I guess it's pretty hard to fuck up a hot dog.  I wish I knew that they were going to put mustard on it before I ordered, though.  Ick.  But besides that, I can't complain.  The dog itself was thick and juicy, and...well, yeah, it was pretty darned good.  Too bad McDonald's no longer serves them.  If you missed out on trying one when they were available, then I pity you.  You poor bastard.

So after we swung by Walgreen's to drop off my film for developing (the charge was something ridiculous like $40 or so), we headed back home for a couple hours' worth of general fuckery.

I guess that this is as good a time as any to introduce Spinner to the wonderful world of Time Traveler.

I don't think he was ready for the experience that was in store for him.  Spinner greeted every scene with renewed shock and surprise.  Nearly every scene would be followed with an exclamation like

<Spinner_8> ...the HELL?

or

<Spinner_8> bahahahaha!

or

<Spinner_8> Okay, seriously, what the HELL.

This is normal, I assured him.  Nobody can ever be mentally equipped to take on this game, unless you were a kid when you played it in the arcade.  And even then, it's still easy to acknowledge that the game is - at the least - really fucked up.

Want a reason to feel sympathy for Spinner?  I made him watch me play through the entire game.  Yes, I can be a very cruel man.  You'd do well to fear me.  I even made him watch the DVD's bonus Rick Dyer biography video, which is just...well, I dunno, seriously.  You'd have to see it to understand.  I can't describe it at all.  Honestly, the Time Traveler DVD is worth buying just for the Dyer biography.  You'll start crying tears of joy as you hear the man describe how he made a talking cuckoo clock for his mother on her birthday.  Wonderful, wonderful stuff, especially if it's watched with a group.  Trust me, this is a purchase you won't regret.  Four stars.

The previews for other shitty FMV games that were tacked onto the disc are golden, too.  Especially that one for Kingdom: The Far Reaches.  My God, man.  Funny funny funny.  That prince guy looks like the world's biggest asshole.

So yes.  We laughed at Rick Dyer's expense.  We watched in disbelief as a cowboy beat up ninjas in full motion video.  We just had a grand old time in general.

...

But all the ninja-beating cowboys in the world couldn't distract us from the fact that we were approaching the end of our odyssey.

...

So.  This is it.

...

<Spinner_8> Well, I guess I'd better be going.
<Sardius> You sure? You don't want to stay a little longer?
<Spinner_8> Nah, I wanna get back home before dark.
* Spinner_8 extends his hand.
<Spinner_8> It's been a pleasure, mister Sardius.
* Sardius and Spinner shake hands.
<Sardius> Likewise.
<Sardius> It's been a blast, man. Thanks so much for taking me along for the ride.
<Sardius> We need to do something like this again sometime.
<Spinner_8> Definitely.
<Sardius> And we're going to CGE next year for sure, right?
<Spinner_8> Psh, of course!
<Spinner_8> See you later.
* Spinner_8 gets in his car.

<Sardius> Waitaminute, one more thing.
<Spinner_8> ...yeah?
<Sardius> Next year, are we flying to Vegas, or roadtripping?
<Spinner_8> ...
<Spinner_8> You shouldn't even have to ask.
<Spinner_8> Dude, road trip!
* Spinner_8 starts the engine and speeds away.

And that's the end.

Our quest was over.  And though it could have easily turned weird or bad at any point, our journey was more successful than we could have ever imagined it being.  I'll admit, I was sad to see Spinner go, especially since we had been nearly inseparable for so long, all while we experienced some of the greatest moments of our lives, together.  But it is of no small consolation that I'll always have the memories of the events that unfolded at the Classic Gaming Expo in the year 2002.

<Drakee> So, what'd you do? What'd you buy? Who'd you meet? Did you kill Rick Dyer? Tell me, tell me!
<Sardius> Relax, relax. Just sit down and I'll tell you all about it...
<Drakee> All right!
<Sardius> Okay, first of all? TheRedEye is the coolest person on the planet. No contest.
<Sardius> Second of all, Atari fans are fucking fat.
<Sardius> But most importantly? Never ever mix your alcohol.
<Drakee> Why not?
<Sardius> Just don't.
<Sardius> Trust me on this one.
<Sardius> Don't.

I eagerly await the next Expo.  If everything goes according to plan, next year will be the best year in Expo history, and it will all be because of TheRedEye's involvement.  Though no details are finalized as of yet, if everything works out, the name of the show may as well be changed to FeFeA Expo 2003.  The NES will have its day, mark my words.  And oh, the Atari fatties are going to be pissed.

All will be revealed in due time, however.

Thanks for reading.

- Sardius

(Man, I can't wait for the next show.  More unreleased games, more drunken debauchery, more FeFeA folk to meet and embarrass myself in front of...man, it's going to be great.  And the road trip!  Jesus, I can only wonder what kind of mischievous, perverse adventures I'm going to take part in on the next road trip with Spinner...)

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